


Tubbo, Speaker For the Bees

by bitxhboy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), The Lorax - Dr. Seuss, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bees, Crack, Funny, Humor, Why Did I Write This?, lorax tubbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 09:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30087033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitxhboy/pseuds/bitxhboy
Summary: He was just about to swing the ax when something tumbled violently out of the tree."My name is Tubbo! I speak for the bees!" The teenage boy yelled as he righted himself.Schlatt blinked in surprise, dropping his ax to his side.After a few silent seconds of the two staring at each other, Schlatt bluntly asked, "What the fuck???"
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Tubbo, Speaker For the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> ??????? enjoy this absolute crackfic
> 
> (beta'd by the incredible @notactuallysatan ! go check out their fantastic writing c:)

Schlatt raised the dark, gleaming ax above the deceptively calm hive. He grimaced in anticipation of the swarm of bees that would soon come exploding out of the hive to sting him. But the sugary sweet honey that he would be rewarded with would make it all worth it. 

He was just about to swing the ax when something tumbled violently out of the tree. 

"My name is Tubbo! I speak for the bees!" The teenage boy yelled as he righted himself.

Schlatt blinked in surprise, dropping his ax to his side.

After a few silent seconds of the two staring at each other, Schlatt bluntly asked, "What the fuck???"

"My name is Tubbo and I speak for the bees," Tubbo repeated matter of factly, "I cannot let you cut the hive from this tree."

Schlatt opened his mouth to ask more questions, but decided it was a waste of his time. There were only so many hours in the day, and so much to do. Why waste precious seconds talking to a loony kid?

"Step aside, kid, I want some honey." Schlatt's attempts to satisfy his sweet tooth would not be stopped by a child. He didn't particularly care about "Tubbo's" feelings either, so if he had to get mean to get what he wanted, he wouldn't hesitate. 

"No." Tubbo replied simply, entirely unfazed by Schlatt's intimidating demeanor.

"Whaddya mean, no? I'm holding a netherite ax, you can't stop me." Seriously, who did "Tubbo" think he was? He was just a kid, not even a big one, completely unarmed and totally unarmored. He couldn't even button his shirt right, apparently.

"You wouldn't hit a pregnant person, would you?"

"What's that have to do with anything?" Schlatt asked suspiciously, his train of thought suddenly halted from the total irrelevance of the question.

Tubbo just shrugged. "People don't look kindly on pregnant-people-beaters."

Schlatt was getting fed up with this kid. He lifted the ax menacingly.

"Listen here, you little shit. You're going to step aside, and leave me the fuck alone. I just want some fucking honey."

Tubbo gave another stupidly nonchalant shrug. "Rumors only grow. If people find out you beat up an innocent pregnant person they won't be too happy with you, Schlatt."

Shit, the kid knew his name? Schlatt began to lower the ax again as it dawned on him. He couldn't shove Tubbo away and just chop the bee hive, because what if he really was pregnant? A story like that could ruin his reputation. For good.

With an angry scowl, Schlatt backed away.  
"You win this time, crazy bee boy."

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading!


End file.
